Jellybean
by NeverEndingQuestions
Summary: She told me I should be strong...and now I think I can be."


**Okay, this is my first angst oneshot. It took me a while, but I think it came out alright in the end. No flamers!  
By the way, this is in no way a Liley fanfiction. Miley and Lilly are just friends.**

**Disclaimer; I do not own Hannah Montana.**

* * *

I was cleaning my room. My dad said that if I worked, it would take my mind off her. I reached under my bed to get some old magazines, when I felt something. Cold, hard, and it felt…bean shaped. I brought it out in front of my face - it was a jellybean. I burst out crying - yes, crying. You might think I'm a freak for crying over a jellybean, but it reminds me of her. It was her favorite candy.

Lilly died last week. 1 week. 7 days without her. It was killing me. Oliver wanted me to be strong. Said that Lilly would want me to be. But every time I would scream, "You don't know what Lilly would want. She's DEAD!" After that, I would always cry. Always. Oliver would try to comfort me, make me feel a little bit better.

I remember vividly how it happened. How she died. It happened right in front of me. I'd never forget it. Everyone said they were so sorry, I didn't buy their shit. _They_ didn't see it right before _their_ eyes. _Their_ best friend didn't fucking bleed to death in front of _them_. It was at the mall. Hanging out, talking, laughing, it was supposed to be any other day. It wasn't. That's exactly when we heard the gunshots. Exactly when Lilly got shot, right in the head. She'd fallen beside me, as I'd screamed in terror. I had taken my shirt off, and tied it around her head, to at least stop _some_ of the bleeding. I heard screams of fear all around me. I hardly cared that I was shirtless in a mall, all I could think of was Lilly. "CALL 911!" I'd roared at the nearest person. They'd nervously took their cell phone out and dialed.

It still didn't save her.

She'd managed to get to the hospital, still alive, but barely. They made me wait in the waiting room. It was hours of pure agony. Lilly's parents, my dad, Jackson, and Oliver had all shown up just a while after I came in. After the terrifying wait, they told us she hadn't survived. I was the first one to react. I didn't believe them. I ran screaming into her room, but it was true. She had really died. I threw myself on her bed, wanting to do something - anything - to bring her back. The doctor and nurses had to carry me out kicking and screaming.

The tears fell faster as everything from that terrible day replayed itself in my head. At that moment, I decided that I couldn't go on without Lilly. I threw the terrible jellybean across the room, as if it was scalding hot. I had never eaten one since her death. I went to my bathroom and closed the door, picking up my razor on the way. I cut into my wrist. I cut myself again, going a little deeper this time. I was losing a lot of blood, starting to go into unconsciousness. I faintly heard someone climbing up the steps. I prayed that wouldn't come in, but they did. "Miley?" It was Oliver. I was starting to die, blackness was swallowing me up. I heard Oliver open the door. "Oh my God, Miley…" was all I heard before I went unconscious.

****

_Am I in Heaven?_ I thought. There was a bright brilliance all round me. Lilly appeared in front of me. I was definitely in Heaven.

"Lilly!" I screamed, hugging her.

"Miley! I've missed you so much," she cried.

"Lilly…am I really dead?" I asked. Don't get me wrong, I was really happy to see Lilly again. But I realized what a stupid mistake I'd made. I'd hurt everyone I knew.

"Well…it depends." she admitted. "If you want to stay here, you'll be fully dead. But if you choose to go back, you'll live."

"But…I won't be able to see you…" I said sadly.

"You'll see me again when your time comes. I _promise_." Lilly replied. I couldn't help but cry. I had decided to stay. They all needed me.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay." I gave Lilly one last hug before I went.

Lilly added, "And Miley, don't be afraid to get over me. I _do_ want you to be strong. We all do."

"Okay, Lilly. I promise I will."

"Bye," she said softly, waving at me.

"Bye."

****

I woke up slowly. My eye lids felt heavy. My vision was still blurry, but I managed to make out Dad sitting by the bed. "Miley?…" he whispered in disbelief.

"Daddy?"

"SHE'S AWAKE!" he roared.

2 doctors and a few nurses came racing in. A nurse stared at me in shock. "But..but…she was d-dead!"

"It's a miracle!" the second doctor gasped. "She lost so much blood and…."

I saw Jackson and Oliver come running in.

"MILEY!" they screamed.

"OKAY, OKAY, two at a time!" The first doctor shouted.

Dad decided to leave me and Jackson alone first. "I can't believe you're alive," Jackson said, suddenly sounding exhausted. "Miley, you have to promise me you'll never do a thing like that again. Do you know what a scare you gave us?"

"I know, and I'm sorry." I said. "I just couldn't live without her…but now I can. Jackson, I _saw_ her! In Heaven!" I didn't care if he thought I was crazy. I'd hold that moment with me forever.

"What did she say?" Jackson asked.

"She told me that I should be strong."

Oliver burst in, saying, "Oh, Miley, I found this in your room." He placed something in the palm of my hand. I was hard, bean shaped…and warm. I smiled and said,

"And now I think I can be."


End file.
